Christ on Acid, La Sagrada Familia.

Barcelona October 29th,2009

The Catholic Church meets Cristal Meth.., that was my first impression when I laid eyes on the monstrosity that spawned from Gaudi’s brain. I fully understand why the Vatican or the Zapatero administration do not want to pay for the construction for what seems to be the gateway too hell. A closer look inside, for which I paid an €11 entrée fee making me an accomplice in this blasphemy, did not change my mind…

“Compadre, caminando tres minutas,luego a la izquierda y te pierdes turísticos dumbass. Ese será € 24”. All I understood from this was caminando tres minutas, which means walk for 3 minutes, not the words I want to hear from a cabdriver. I didn’t know it then, but he dropped me of at the Placa del Catalunya, the nerve center of Barcelona. A charismatic square combining the history of the city with its modern day pace of life. It was windy and cold in Amsterdam when I took off, but it’s pleasant and dry while a walk the broad Avinguda del Portal de l’Angel only two hours later.

The cabdriver told me to go left where I should have gone right, making me look like an ignorant pedestrian tourist holding a map while being lost. The local hoodlums picked this up quickly and plotted to pick my pockets. Buenas noches Spain, just here for 15 minutes and all ready I get handed the opportunity to fight. The gentlemen seized me up, and quickly drew the conclusion it was too much afford for too little profit. Yes, big, fat, fucking black dressing, hairless, hells angel looking, Dutch guy coming thru!! Victorious I continued my quest for the cheap hostel that should be here somewhere.

Tomorrow I have to leave again, time and finance is running low. My hostel room with its typical Spanish balcony will accommodate me for just one more night. I’ve seen the Palau del Musica, enjoyed the Rambla, the big Cathedral, La Pedrera, a bunch of museums, the harbor, the squares, the parks, the people, the food, the night life and the sun.  But I still don’t get the charm of la Sagrada Familia… So I decided to take another look-see. As I am writing this down, I am on my third terrace with a direct view on the monster, enjoying my overpriced coffee. Now I've dined and drank with her. Tourists are swarming like ants. Heads thrown back in their necks, mouth open, taking on Kamasutra posses just to get that one picture from the right angle. Honestly, I still can’t say La Sagrada Familia is a thing of beauty. But its growing on me. It must be fun to attend mass in Azkaban in 2030, when it’s supposedly finished.  Gaudi, being brilliant and clearly deranged, must have imagined the  Sunday morning acoustic effects of a gospel quire inside, all the people pausing on the street to gaze at his creation. And God looking down from heaven, telling Jesus: ‘Fetch me some water Son, I must have a hang over again.’

Christ on Acid, Gaudi was ahead of his time indeed.